Welcome to our stop on Erin Jade Lange's blog tour for Butter. Butter is Erin's first novel. The tour is hosted by Bloomsbury. Today Erin shares with us a special post on being bullied.
She is an only child, which means she spent a lot of time entertaining herself as a kid. This required her to rely heavily on her own imagination, which is probably why she became a writer.
Erin grew up in the cornfields of northern Illinois, along the Mississippi River in one of the few places it flows east to west. She now lives in the sunshine of Arizona and will forever be torn between her love of rivers and her love of the desert.
BUTTER is her first novel.
10 suggestions if you are or have been bullied
Every case of bullying or cruelty is different. Every bully is different. Every target of bullying is different. And there is no one right way to handle the situation. But here are ten things I wish I had known when I was bullied:
1. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are NOT the things they call you. You are merely the random target they have selected. If you accept that they are wrong about you, they have no power to shame you.
2. Tell someone. I wish I had trusted my parents more at the age I was bullied – wish I had known they had the power to help me. I also wish I had confided in a friend, but my friends at the time were outside of school, and I didn’t want them to know I wasn’t “cool” at school.
3. Find an outlet for your frustration. A journal, a favorite song to play on repeat, a kickboxing class – anything that can help you vent, so you don’t turn that frustration in on yourself.
4. Walk away. If you are able to walk away from your bully, do it. Their only kickback from being cruel is seeing the pain they’ve caused. Give them nothing.
5. Resist the urge to pay it forward. It can be too easy, when you are a target of bullying, to say or do something cruel in return – or to point the finger at someone else, if it looks like you can divert the bully’s attention to another victim. Remember to be kind. Be better than the bullies.
6. You are amazing. Too often, the targets of bullying have been singled out because they are different in some way. You are uber-smart (nerd); you are creative with your wardrobe (freak); etc… The truth is, you probably have something special that your bully envies – something you should be proud of.
7. Forgive. This one can be hard, and it took me many years to do it myself. Consider what might be going on in a bully’s life that makes them cruel or violent. Maybe they are insecure – lashing out before they can become a target themselves. Maybe they get hit at home. They may be in a lot of pain and taking that pain out on you.
8. Dream. Your best years are ahead, and this moment of bullying is brief. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the moment, but if you can focus instead on your big bright future, it will be here before you know it.
9. Read, Write, Connect. There are so many stories of bullying, both in books and on the internet. Seeking out those stories and knowing you’re not alone can be a life-saver… literally! And sharing your own story with others is a powerful way to heal.
10. It gets better. I promise.
Author: Erin Jade Lange
Reading Level: YA
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Released: September 4th 2012
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Available: Amazon
• BN.com • IndieBoundSummary: (from goodreads) A lonely obese boy everyone calls "Butter" is about to make history. He is going to eat himself to death-live on the Internet-and everyone is invited to watch. When he first makes the announcement online to his classmates, Butter expects pity, insults, and possibly sheer indifference. What he gets are morbid cheerleaders rallying around his deadly plan. Yet as their dark encouragement grows, it begins to feel a lot like popularity. And that feels good. But what happens when Butter reaches his suicide deadline? Can he live with the fallout if he doesn't go through with his plans? With a deft hand, E.J. Lange allows readers to identify with both the bullies and the bullied in this all-consuming look at one teen's battle with himself.
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Great advice. It's so hard to realize it when your in the middle of it - but things do get better.
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